9 October 2007
10 Reasons We Like 10 Reasons Lists
In a world full of long legal documents and peanut butter smeared children, we long for the simplicity and cleanliness of the list. Like a combination of Ikea commercial and Airwick air freshener advertisements, the list provides that crisp, clean Summer rain feel we all so long for. So, enough with this ugly paragraph, and let’s begin the beauty, that is the list…
Work?! Don’t be silly … How shall I escape from this tedious business document or math word problem - read a book? No, don’t be silly - Of course, I’ll read a list. That will allow me to shed the shackles of this demanding life for awhile and immerse myself in the joy of a simple, meaningless list.
There are numbers and bullets … Yes, not long, nasty paragraphs - but, simple and concise numbers or bullets for us to wash our eyes over in an easy reading pleasure.
Easy thoughts … Lists are thought provoking without requiring too much thought to achieve said provoking. Put down that Differential Equations textbook. Why work so hard to have that thought appear in your brain - when a simple list can get you to thought nirvana so much easier.
They can be about anything … Try it - do a search on Google for ‘10 Reasons’ and find everything from Chickens to the 10 Reasons China Loves Lead Paint. Lists bring the world together.
No need to pass English class … This list is a beautiful example of the shear lack of mastery of the English prose that is required to generate a list.
Attention span not required … The list reader’s average attention span doesn’t last (hey - over here), ahem, doesn’t last much past 10 lines - making the list the perfect refuge for their word starved minds.
Instant snappy titles are provided for you at no charge … Who want’s to read a post entitled the ‘Dissertation on Peace and It’s Economic Effects on the County’, when they could read ‘10 Reasons Chicks Dig Geeks’. Informative and snappy at the same time, now that’s a true two for one bargain.
Ooohh - pretty pictures … When bullets and numbers aren’t enough, lists can even provide pretty pictures. To captivate our eye weary readers, the list creator pulls out of his/her bag of tricks, the pretty picture. Yes, no longer do we have to deal with silly words, when a picture answers it all for us.
Lists provide great conversation starters … Getting ready for that hot date? Right before you walk out the door, pull up a list and jot down a few entries, and when the conversation starts to dwindle, bring up, ‘Hey, I read in a prestigious list, that chickens are the number two reason that China has high lead in their paints.’ (Note: Be careful, not to cross lists in your mind, the outcome can cause immediate ends to any hope of achieving anything beyond first base.)
Graduation … Welcome - You’ve reached the end and you now have a grand sense you’ve accomplished something of your day. You may now roll back over and go to sleep, dreaming of the next questionable list.
I won’t bore you with a long and tedious ending paragraph. So - The End.
